personal creations with a broken compass

im living in the past,tryin to move forward with my life,but my brain startin to loose fluid,everything mixing, i cant comprehend wat real,whos u i ask,u remind me of my x,seein the pain in her eyes that i left that xmas night,but no is a lost soul that cum to me now n then askin me to save them,tryin to give the world a warning,but lies got ppl lost n blind,lost in my dreams of the flashback of the future,is it near, i think so,20 years on this earth tryin to make it sumthing worth living,here lookin 4 coins for a chick named lucy with a lucy between her lips,but im blacklisted,so wheres the danger,decreed of wat im told to b,but im only can b me,lost in a black hole,never gona matter in the eyes of the lost,feeble words that i utter under my breath, late at night holdin on to the bible,questioning the lies that i read,but my final thorts might b questioned,was he mentally unstable,jus cuz u cant understand my strange scriptures doesnt mean i was twisted,mayb i understood every detail of what we live in,but its jus personal creations that hold conflict