venting

this cant b life,the shit i been threw has been hell,nothings getting better ,every ones weak,i can take this any more,i wish death over n over,its not coming if there is a god,he jus wants me to live in suffering,i dont even know wat to believe,i dont knows wats real ,growing up in this world n the telling u are giving,being told to b righteous,dont sin,b loyal,treat ppl how u want to b treated never push away ur fell,always help man,b a caring person,it was all a lie all evil,i dont have much time left,i cant take these humans,i cant take it i swear ima end it,i have no more pills to keep me numb,i dont smoke anymore,jus loosies hoping every pull i take wil kill me sooner,cant trust family have no friend,im jus a waste of life, i want to die but god wont take,sick of seeing they ppl who loves life n theres get cut off,wishing everday why couldnt i take there place,wishing i had a person to jus sit in a cemetery n write n breath in the list of the forgoten askin questions about life n wait could i do to releave this sorrow , wishing n pryin that there is a god that could help,stop the killings the poor the weak the devils but no he doent come jus let things happen,i can wait till its all over i could b free,4ever feel no pain,i hate everything a bout i hate everything about this planet only death n hell i c ,n im slowly turnin to them that i hate but i realy not jus alone like the Shepperd walkin the earth tryin to nunderstand n help ppl with wat i learn n remember from the past life,i dont know how long i have in this world, everything is coming to a end,y ppl cant c this r they rhis blind or im jus crazy,starting to sleep less again n i ready to end this cuz god hates m the devil hates me more,so y im feeling like i shoulda ended it 2 years ago wen i wrote my suicide letter,am im weak for thinkin like this mayb i am but wat can i do, i been quite for years n still noone wana here me speak im still the crazy wierd kid that everyone hates n wana fuck up my life more,i hate missing the ppl ive loved,they onlky hate me they never new wat love was its jus a word n its sad im the only one who knows wat real love is,im falling away from this world everyday, n soon ill b gone n i pry one person remebers me but thats a myth it will never happen n ill always b alone ether way so wat to do,idk but i dont have time left cuz life is tellin me it doesnt want me